...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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