your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
