Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
