Plan B is the new Plan A
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
