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I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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