There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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