She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
