Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
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