i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
NoShamevember. You game?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
