Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
