she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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