i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
