Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
