I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize