theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
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Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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