Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
