it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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