Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
