Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize