at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize