He kissed a someone with a penis
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
