I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
