Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
