I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
