I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize