I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
