How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
