My room smells like vodka and shame
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize