I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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