If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
