We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
