That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
