Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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