Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
