I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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