there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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