if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Randomize
