he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
