I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
