i don't like sucking hair
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Someone came in the potted fern
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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