im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
