WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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