I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
