either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
