Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
