dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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