What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have post one night stand depression
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
