yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just had sex on a roof
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
