Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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