So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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