My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
