Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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