I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
