Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
These tits shall not be calmed
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
