whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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