Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
