are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
