just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize