So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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