"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
