i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
