so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
