forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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