It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
