I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
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Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
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wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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