pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
