Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
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Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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