omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
