Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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