I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
