Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
