Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
