I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
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I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
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You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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